"Magic", "Larry Legend", "The Great One", "Reign Man", "The Freak". Those are some of the best nicknames in all of sports. These, are not:
2 minutes by TheNobleSavage
I just heard the third string TNT color commentator call Mickael Pietrus (sic?) "Air France." Why would anyone ever think that nicknaming someone after an airline known for its delays and typically French customer service (i.e. indifferent at best) was a good idea? Anyway, I nominate Gheorge "The Milkman" Muresan as the worst nickname of all time. Yes, that's made up. I just couldn't help but imagine Big Gheorge as the world's creepiest milkman.
*Response by No,Money Down*
I also heard them refer to Pietrus as "Air France", and they even threw in some comments about the airline possibly "taking off" (he sank a three). I take it he's french...why don't we just start referring to every player by his country's crappy airline...think of all the american based ones: "And delta passes it to TWA, sets the screen for US airways, and US airways dunks RIGHT OVER CONTINENTAL!!!!" let's ban this practice.
2 minutes by HighTimeForCrime
Easy. It's "The Black Mamba," Kobe Bryant. Anytime you have raped a girl, you are not allowed to make your nickname a pseudo-reference to your genitalia. While we're at it, why don't we just call Ben Roethlisberger The White Mamba and call it a post.
2 minutes by No,Money Down
Not very exciting, but I think one of the stupider nicknames in sports is AD, for Adrian Peterson. Supposedly this stands for "All Day", as in he runs all day (not anymore based on last season). But um, his initials AP are already cool and roll-off-the-tongue enough that we can refer to him with 'em, why are we tweaking them to almost the same thing? He's AP, not AD, it's just stupid.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
2 Minutes on the Idea of Trading Chris Cooley
Chris Cooley is the shit, but with the emergence of Fred Davis, the Redskins are suddenly overstocked in the serviceable TE department. What to do, what to do...
2 Minutes by No,MoneyDown:
I can see the logic behind this, but here are reasons why we SHOULD NOT trade Chris Cooley:
-He's THE fan favorite, this just wouldn't be very cool.
-He's in no danger of expiring, this isn't a "Let's trade him now before he sucks/gets injured so we get good value for him" situation like with Portis. Cooley is in his prime and could easily (w/ McNabb) have has best season yet in 2010
-Are we really going to trade our most consistent offensive player because the 2nd year TE finished hot during the junk-time 2nd half of a lost season? I still say Fred Davis is unproven.
2 Minutes by TheNobleSavage
Yes, the Redskins should absolutely trade Cooley. The 'skins will undoubtedly be terrible this year, so they'll just be wasting Cooley's talents and squandering an opportunity to blood Davis if they don't trade Cooley. Moreover, they might be able to turn Cooley into real draft picks. Lord knows they could have used those this years. I'm already depressed about football season...
2 minutes by HighTimeForCrime
This has nothing to do with Fred Davis and everything to do with Chris Cooley. No, you do not trade him. The man is tough, intelligent, and clearly one of the best-liked guys among his teammates and certainly the most-liked among the fans. And shit, he's a hell of a football players, lest we forget. It was great seeing what Davis could do when Cooley went down; that's what you WANT your backups to do. But trading him for a pick, just to see management stroke their own egos by nailing it? No sir.
2 Minutes by No,MoneyDown:
I can see the logic behind this, but here are reasons why we SHOULD NOT trade Chris Cooley:
-He's THE fan favorite, this just wouldn't be very cool.
-He's in no danger of expiring, this isn't a "Let's trade him now before he sucks/gets injured so we get good value for him" situation like with Portis. Cooley is in his prime and could easily (w/ McNabb) have has best season yet in 2010
-Are we really going to trade our most consistent offensive player because the 2nd year TE finished hot during the junk-time 2nd half of a lost season? I still say Fred Davis is unproven.
2 Minutes by TheNobleSavage
Yes, the Redskins should absolutely trade Cooley. The 'skins will undoubtedly be terrible this year, so they'll just be wasting Cooley's talents and squandering an opportunity to blood Davis if they don't trade Cooley. Moreover, they might be able to turn Cooley into real draft picks. Lord knows they could have used those this years. I'm already depressed about football season...
2 minutes by HighTimeForCrime
This has nothing to do with Fred Davis and everything to do with Chris Cooley. No, you do not trade him. The man is tough, intelligent, and clearly one of the best-liked guys among his teammates and certainly the most-liked among the fans. And shit, he's a hell of a football players, lest we forget. It was great seeing what Davis could do when Cooley went down; that's what you WANT your backups to do. But trading him for a pick, just to see management stroke their own egos by nailing it? No sir.
2 Minutes on the Jason Campbell Trade
During the 2010 NFL Draft, the Redskins sent obsolete QB Jason Campbell to the hapless Oakland Raiders for a 2012 4th Round Draft Pick (if the world doesn't explode like the Mayans predicted).
2 Minutes by No,MoneyDown: Poor Jason Campbell. Poor, poor, POOR Jason Campbell. Consider these wrinkles in the poorness of Jason Campbell...
-He's going to the only, repeat: ONLY organization in the league that is a step down from the Redskins. Don't buy the idea that anywhere is better than here for JC, because this will not be a happy ending.
-We traded for his mentor to replace him, nice.
-He's been begging us (presumably) for years to draft some Offesnive Linemen to protect him, and we finally did! Except he's not on the team anymore, we're protecting someone else. Poor, poor Jason Campbell. His career never had a chance.
2 minutes by HighTimeForCrime
People were so disappointed with Jason Campbell's play because he was a "first round" QB; but what if Old Man Gibbs just drafted him too high? What if he's really just a second or third round talent. Put in that perspective, didn't he actually do pretty well for himself? I mean, it was apparent last season that the front office wasn't trying to help him out at all. I mean, MIKE WILLIAMS as the only "upgrade" on the line? Get the fuck outta here. He'll be fine in Oakland, and I think they'll just be happy he's not Jamarcus Russell.
2 Minutes by No,MoneyDown: Poor Jason Campbell. Poor, poor, POOR Jason Campbell. Consider these wrinkles in the poorness of Jason Campbell...
-He's going to the only, repeat: ONLY organization in the league that is a step down from the Redskins. Don't buy the idea that anywhere is better than here for JC, because this will not be a happy ending.
-We traded for his mentor to replace him, nice.
-He's been begging us (presumably) for years to draft some Offesnive Linemen to protect him, and we finally did! Except he's not on the team anymore, we're protecting someone else. Poor, poor Jason Campbell. His career never had a chance.
2 minutes by HighTimeForCrime
People were so disappointed with Jason Campbell's play because he was a "first round" QB; but what if Old Man Gibbs just drafted him too high? What if he's really just a second or third round talent. Put in that perspective, didn't he actually do pretty well for himself? I mean, it was apparent last season that the front office wasn't trying to help him out at all. I mean, MIKE WILLIAMS as the only "upgrade" on the line? Get the fuck outta here. He'll be fine in Oakland, and I think they'll just be happy he's not Jamarcus Russell.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
2 Minutes on the Masters
Let's pretend the Masters haven't ended yet...
2 Minutes on Tiger and the Masters by DoNoUhOh:
I really want Tiger Woods to win the Masters. I really want him to win. And then during his victory interview I want him to say "I'm Tiger Woods. I'm the best golfer the world has ever seen and I can do whatever I want." Because that is pretty much true. Because we need some good badass villains. Because being rich and famous means you don't play by the same rules no matter what everyone wants to pretend. A little honesty, a little taking advantage of reality, a little in your face challenging. I like Tiger Woods because he's a good golfer not because he's a good person. I don't really care if he's a good person. And actually I imagine that there is a huge number of men out there who would act as Tiger has acted if only they could.
2 Minutes by No,MoneyDown:
Very impressive what Tiger is doing. I expected his return to be cosi cosi, like MJ or anyone in a big, hyped “return”, good but not great (I’m talking immediate, return, first game or match back). So far he’s great. There’s so much smoke in this whole thing, whether you love him or hate him, that I’d like to touch on something new…Do you know what was maybe the most disapinting thing about Tiger’s philandering?? His taste in women. Honestly dude, what are you, 10 years old?? Me like big boobies!! Me like bottle blondes!!! And porn stars?? Trashy girls? How about some variety? Why not be banging some foxy asian girls, some foxy black mamas (um, aren’t you black and asian, Tiger?).
2 Minutes on Tiger and the Masters by DoNoUhOh:
I really want Tiger Woods to win the Masters. I really want him to win. And then during his victory interview I want him to say "I'm Tiger Woods. I'm the best golfer the world has ever seen and I can do whatever I want." Because that is pretty much true. Because we need some good badass villains. Because being rich and famous means you don't play by the same rules no matter what everyone wants to pretend. A little honesty, a little taking advantage of reality, a little in your face challenging. I like Tiger Woods because he's a good golfer not because he's a good person. I don't really care if he's a good person. And actually I imagine that there is a huge number of men out there who would act as Tiger has acted if only they could.
2 Minutes by No,MoneyDown:
Very impressive what Tiger is doing. I expected his return to be cosi cosi, like MJ or anyone in a big, hyped “return”, good but not great (I’m talking immediate, return, first game or match back). So far he’s great. There’s so much smoke in this whole thing, whether you love him or hate him, that I’d like to touch on something new…Do you know what was maybe the most disapinting thing about Tiger’s philandering?? His taste in women. Honestly dude, what are you, 10 years old?? Me like big boobies!! Me like bottle blondes!!! And porn stars?? Trashy girls? How about some variety? Why not be banging some foxy asian girls, some foxy black mamas (um, aren’t you black and asian, Tiger?).
Friday, April 9, 2010
2 Minutes on the Donovan McNabb Trade
On Easter Sunday we were all shocked to hear that the Washington Redskins had traded for Donovan McNabb, the face of the Philadelphia Eagles for the past decade and division foe. Wow.
2 Minutes on McNabb Trade, by No,MoneyDown:
OK, first I wasn't happy about this. Excited? Sure, I get excited for just about every big (often ill-advised) trade the Redskins make. It seemed that again we were mortaging our future to try to win now. Techincally, yes that is what Snyder/Shanahan is doing yet again, but I'm amazed at how little we gave up for McNabb. In fact, that is the one thing that raises eyebrows: Why would the Eagles trade McNabb to a division rival unless they thought he was totally washed up? At least we can all count on this being an interesting season (because even if McNabb goes down, we'll be in for a season of Rex Grossman!)
2 Minutes from HighTimeforCrime:
Well he's definitely better than any qb we've had in the Dan Snyder era. Yes, his success has diminished in the past 5 years, as he's only made one pro bowl and one nfc championship game, but again, that's better than anything the Redskins have done in that time. I think this move ensures that we go ahead and draft the highest-rated OT at the #4 spot in this year's draft. McNabb's accuracy always struck me as a strength of his, both in the short-to-intermediate passing game as well as the long bombs, which is more than I can say for Jason Campbell..a qb not having strength in the short, intermediate, or deep passing game, that can't be a good thing.
2 Minutes on McNabb Trade, by No,MoneyDown:
OK, first I wasn't happy about this. Excited? Sure, I get excited for just about every big (often ill-advised) trade the Redskins make. It seemed that again we were mortaging our future to try to win now. Techincally, yes that is what Snyder/Shanahan is doing yet again, but I'm amazed at how little we gave up for McNabb. In fact, that is the one thing that raises eyebrows: Why would the Eagles trade McNabb to a division rival unless they thought he was totally washed up? At least we can all count on this being an interesting season (because even if McNabb goes down, we'll be in for a season of Rex Grossman!)
2 Minutes from HighTimeforCrime:
Well he's definitely better than any qb we've had in the Dan Snyder era. Yes, his success has diminished in the past 5 years, as he's only made one pro bowl and one nfc championship game, but again, that's better than anything the Redskins have done in that time. I think this move ensures that we go ahead and draft the highest-rated OT at the #4 spot in this year's draft. McNabb's accuracy always struck me as a strength of his, both in the short-to-intermediate passing game as well as the long bombs, which is more than I can say for Jason Campbell..a qb not having strength in the short, intermediate, or deep passing game, that can't be a good thing.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
2 minutes on Baltimore Ravens WR Derrick Mason
The Ravens just re-signed Derrick Mason to a 2 year contract. Here's a sample of ol' reliable:
-1000 yards in 8 of the 10 last years
-Yet, in 5 of those 8 years he didn't eclipse 1100 yards, and in 2 more he didn't eclipse 1200.
-Not once in his 13 year career did he catch 10 TDs.
-Drafted in the 4th round.
2 minutes by HighTimeForCrime
He's just so...unspectacular. He's nowhere near terrible. He's definitely better than good. For all I know he might be a HOFer. But what is it about him that makes him so boring? A 36-year-old going for over a thousand yards with 7 td's as the #1 receiving option? Just doesn't happen much these days. I'm not certain that he won't play into his 40's.
2 minutes by No, MoneyDown
Now here's an NFL transaction that it is really difficult to get excited about. We're' really looking at a player who personifies the under-appreciated that don't do anything but come in and do their job like they're supposed to. OK, maybe I'm selling Mason a bit short, he was pretty explosive in his prime, but now, frankly I think he's on the right team. The Ravens can muster up a little bit of offense now and then, but they won't do anything to excite you (read: Derrick Mason). The dude must be 37 or something now, right? He seems pretty gutsy, I'm unsure of his HOF credentials but I'd hate to see another deserving guy not get in just because he lacks eye-popping statistics.
2 minutes by DoNoUhOh
Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. This topic made me quote Gone With the Wind.
-1000 yards in 8 of the 10 last years
-Yet, in 5 of those 8 years he didn't eclipse 1100 yards, and in 2 more he didn't eclipse 1200.
-Not once in his 13 year career did he catch 10 TDs.
-Drafted in the 4th round.
2 minutes by HighTimeForCrime
He's just so...unspectacular. He's nowhere near terrible. He's definitely better than good. For all I know he might be a HOFer. But what is it about him that makes him so boring? A 36-year-old going for over a thousand yards with 7 td's as the #1 receiving option? Just doesn't happen much these days. I'm not certain that he won't play into his 40's.
2 minutes by No, MoneyDown
Now here's an NFL transaction that it is really difficult to get excited about. We're' really looking at a player who personifies the under-appreciated that don't do anything but come in and do their job like they're supposed to. OK, maybe I'm selling Mason a bit short, he was pretty explosive in his prime, but now, frankly I think he's on the right team. The Ravens can muster up a little bit of offense now and then, but they won't do anything to excite you (read: Derrick Mason). The dude must be 37 or something now, right? He seems pretty gutsy, I'm unsure of his HOF credentials but I'd hate to see another deserving guy not get in just because he lacks eye-popping statistics.
2 minutes by DoNoUhOh
Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. This topic made me quote Gone With the Wind.
Friday, March 5, 2010
The Nutty Career of Jake Delhomme
2 minutes by No,MoneyDown: Man oh man, now here's a guy who knew how to ride the wave! Let's see, he got the Panthers to the Superbowl (that is to say, he was somewhere between a game-manager and a star QB...granted, probably closer to star QB for that one season, but it was a defensive team) and he has steadily declined ever since. Maybe we didn't recognize how he benefitted from having a freak as his number one target, Mr. Steve Smith. All I know is, he experience a meltdown that left us wondering how this guy was ever good in the first place. He was like Kurt Warner, if Kurt Warner never got a 2nd wind and revived his career in Arizona.
2 minutes on the Panthers cutting Jake Delhomme by HighTimeforCrime
It's about fucking time. This has been an example of where sentimentality toward one player hurts the team overall. I think he had a combined 12 turnovers in the playoff loss to the Cards in '08 and opening day '09. Still, brutal for the Panthers to have to take that $12.5 million hit.
2 minutes on the Panthers cutting Jake Delhomme by HighTimeforCrime
It's about fucking time. This has been an example of where sentimentality toward one player hurts the team overall. I think he had a combined 12 turnovers in the playoff loss to the Cards in '08 and opening day '09. Still, brutal for the Panthers to have to take that $12.5 million hit.
2 minutes on Jake Delhomme getting cut by DoNoUhOh:
Has a quarterback ever gone so far off of one brilliant game? Yes, he was a serviceable starting quarterback for years and that shouldn't be underrated in a league full of loser quarterbacks. But if it weren't for that Rams super bowl, which he lost by the way, would this even be news? The dude has had a largely boring career and his wide receiver was considerably better than he was. Delhomme's greatest contribution to the game was bringing into focus how overrated the "super bowl Quarterback" moniker truly is.
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