2 minutes on Baltimore Ravens WR Derrick Mason

The Ravens just re-signed Derrick Mason to a 2 year contract. Here's a sample of ol' reliable:
-1000 yards in 8 of the 10 last years
-Yet, in 5 of those 8 years he didn't eclipse 1100 yards, and in 2 more he didn't eclipse 1200.
-Not once in his 13 year career did he catch 10 TDs.
-Drafted in the 4th round.

2 minutes by HighTimeForCrime
He's just so...unspectacular. He's nowhere near terrible. He's definitely better than good. For all I know he might be a HOFer. But what is it about him that makes him so boring? A 36-year-old going for over a thousand yards with 7 td's as the #1 receiving option? Just doesn't happen much these days. I'm not certain that he won't play into his 40's.

2 minutes by No, MoneyDown
Now here's an NFL transaction that it is really difficult to get excited about. We're' really looking at a player who personifies the under-appreciated that don't do anything but come in and do their job like they're supposed to. OK, maybe I'm selling Mason a bit short, he was pretty explosive in his prime, but now, frankly I think he's on the right team. The Ravens can muster up a little bit of offense now and then, but they won't do anything to excite you (read: Derrick Mason). The dude must be 37 or something now, right? He seems pretty gutsy, I'm unsure of his HOF credentials but I'd hate to see another deserving guy not get in just because he lacks eye-popping statistics.

2 minutes by DoNoUhOh
Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. This topic made me quote Gone With the Wind.

2 minutes on the San Diego Chargers releasing LaDainian Tomlinson aka Damian Thompson aka David Thomas

On Feburary 22, the San Diego Chargers released former NFL MVP LaDainian Tomlinson. Tomlinson was the No. 5 overall pick in the 2001 NFL draft, has made five Pro Bowls, holds the record for most touchdowns in a single season, and has rushed for 12,490 yards with 138 touchdowns in his career.

HighTimeForCrime:
Never in professional sports is releasing a player so cold-blooded as it is in the NFL. This is LaDainian-freakin'-Tomlinson we're talking about. Unfortunately, football fans have such a short-term memory, that it really doesn't matter what he did two years ago, or even last week for that matter. Only what he can do tomorrow. And the reality is that his ability has steadily declined. Problem is that he has refused to acknowledge it and even as recent as the beginning of last season, proclaimed himself the best back in all of football.

MoneyDown:
I think we all ended up disliking what has to be considered either the new LT or the real LT, real because he finally came out of his shell. This was the LT who was past his prime and sulked on the sidelines for two years because Darren Sproles was just the guy who ought to be on the field. We disliked LT for the same reason we disliked Hillary Clinton: a sense of entitlement: "Well I've paid my dues and I ought to get what is coming to me, I earned it!". He really came out as a seemingly selfish kind of guy, isn't that shocking? He was the posterboy of the NFL for being a team player and an overall nice guy, talk about a turn around. Throw in that Americans love a winner and LT could never get over the hump and suddenly you have a guy that no one really is bothered about having been let go.

Pacman Jones

Pacman Jones belongs in Dallas. Dallas is a safe haven for criminals, degenerates and stereotypical thuggish athletes. They developed Michael Irvin's drug addiction in Dallas. They imported Tank Johnson's guns. They drafted Quincy Carter's coke problem. They took a flier on TO's psychologically decimated brain. And now they are doing their best to trade for Pacman Jones and his problem with breaking every law he knows about.

2 minutes on Pacman Jones
By HighTimeForCrime
There’s not a chance Pacman can survive in Dallas. Each one of those little dots in the original Pacman game is a strip club in downtown Dallas.

2 minutes on Pacman Jones
By DoNoUhOh

All the man did was make it rain. Can you really fault him for that? I mean making it rain is probably the most badass thing you can possibly do. And then all hell broke loose and a guy got shot and it turned out that Pacman Jones is a crime spree. And then we learned that he can’t stay out of trouble even when he’s trying. Makes you wonder. Yeah maybe Pacman is unfairly singled out sometimes like when he got pulled over for not having a license. But still come on its ridiculous. How much bad shit are you doing and getting away with if you are getting caught that often.

2008 NFL Draft

That whole scene where super jacked young men perform physical feats and get measured by less jacked old men called the the NFL Combine has already passed. That means its Draft season. Where all predictions are made and all predictions manage to be completely wrong:

2 minutes on the 2008 NFL Draft
By DoNoUhOh

I’m pretty excited at the prospect of the number 1 pick being someone I’ve met, Chris Long. That’s pretty crazy right? A nice little factoid to toss out at your local cocktail party or wherever it is that people toss out little factoids like I’ve met the number draft pick in the NFL. Unfortunately Other Long will probably go in front of him. So my man Chris will be left as merely a top 3 or top 5 pick. Still a multimillionaire but no longer part of my little factoid repertoire.

2 minutes on the top of the 2008 NFL draft
By HighTimeForCrime
I don’t think you’re gonna see anyone trade out of the first few spots.
Miami takes OT Jake Long at the top. You pair him with Samson Satele at C and free agent signing G Justin Smiley and ROT Vernon Carey , you’ve actually got a pretty decent line, and it’s being taught by Sparano, Dallas’s O-line coach from last year.

Aaron Rodgers

We apologize for our recent absence. It is because HighTimeForCrime had an A Capella concert. But have no fear. We are back. Here to discuss the man behind the man, the myth, the legend, we present our two minutes on Aaron Rodgers:

2 minutes on Aaron Rodgers
By DoNoUhOh

Alas he will remain irrelevant. Brett Favre, horribly overrated and selfish, will hold true to character and refuse to leave the spotlight. Yes, that’s right, Brett Favre will return as the Packers QB. Or more precisely he will hover around the team as the season begins. Aaron Rodgers will do his best to lead the team with Favre leaning over his shoulder. The Green Bay drones will hate Rodgers as Favre laughs maniacally. Eventually there will be massive clamoring for change even as Rodgers does a decent job and Favre will ride in to save the day, seizing the starting job and leading the team to finish at 6-10 with more game killing interceptions than game winning TD’s.

2 minutes on Aaron Rodgers
By Meast

Rodgers will be nothing to nobody. Its like he won't even be a footnote in Packers history. He will b out of the starting QB job in less than three years. A lot like many Chicago and Washington QBs. Rodgers won't do anyhting next season and the Packers will have a losing season.

2 minutes on Aaron Rodgers
By HighTimeForCrime
Aaron Rodgers was drafted into a kind of shitty circumstance in this league. Brett Favre was a huge dick to him, saying that it wasn’t his responsibility or obligation to mentor Rodgers. Fans will not be very forgiving if Rodgers falters, because they are used to having their golden boy behind center.
I think that has probably taken a toll on him, because the qb’s confidence is way more important than his physical capabilities or understanding of the playbook.

Reggie Wayne

Reginald DeVincey Wayne. Perhaps his parents foreshadowed his artistry on the field. Perhaps The da Vinci Code had nothing to do with the Holy Grail, rather it was intended as a Metaphor of young Reginald’s life. Isn’t that possible? No.


2 minutes on Reggie Wayne
by HighTimeForCrime
Reggie Wayne is just about hitting his prime as Peyton Manning is hitting his prime. Do you realize what this means?
Remember how impressive Manning and Harrison were when Harrison got the catches in a season record . Well now Manning is better, has just as much time with Wayne as he did with Marvin, and Wayne is arguably as good, if not better, a receiver than Harrison, plus he’ll still have Anthony Gonzalez who is coming into his own to draw attention off him.

2 minutes on Reggie Wayne
By DoNoUhOh
Don’t really know that much about Reggie Wayne. That’s because football players as individuals are a lot less accessible than players in most other sports. The NFL makes a conscious effort to keep most of their players anonymous. Meanwhile, the NBA is a league of individuals. Both the NBA and NFL draw their players largely from the same demographic, lower income African Americans. Could it be that part of the reason the NFL is perceived to be so much healthier than the NBA is because it was better at keeping their young black newly minted athletes away from the larger public?

David Garrard

Some of you may have heard of him. He threw for 18 TDs 3 Ints with a 102.2 QB rating in the big leagues this past season. He had zero fumbles. His name is David Garrard and his numbers describe him well. He doesn't make mistakes. He led a dangerous playoff team. He doesn't get a lot of fanfare. Now for our David Garrard-like two minutes:

2 minutes on David Garrard
By DoNoUhOh

Who knew he was gonna be so nasty? Well I think the Jaguars did. Good foresight by them. Actually, we’ve been hearing a lot of whispers about this guy for a few years now. About how he’s an incredible backup and how hopefully he gets a real shot as a starter. Well he got that shot and he had a great season. He was spectacularly solid. That is something that is highly underrated in the quarterback market. There is a lot of raving and obsessing over big arms and big men, fast legs and wonderlic. Being amazingly solid, not messing up and just getting the job done is amazing. Tom Brady is a man who is incredible at not sucking and that’s what makes him great so why not David Garrard.

2 minutes on David Garrard
by HighTimeForCrime

Dude is the man. Was it a good idea to release the overweight and injury prone Byron Leftwich before last season? Really?! Was that the question? 18 td’s compared to 3 picks on the season
Yes, he has one of the better backfield tandem in Jones-Drew and Fred Taylor, but Garrard is more than simply a “game manager”. Game managers (read: Trent Dilfer) try their best not to fuck up games. Garrard makes excellent decisions; knows when to pass it, when to throw it away, and when to run like hell for that first down marker.

David Carr

Here's our two minutes on the much esteemed National Football League Quarterback David Carr (We can't call him an All-Pro or a Pro Bowler or really anything at all because, well, he's not any of those things):

2 minutes on David Carr
By HighTimeForCrime
David Carr. What a dude. Apparently this Fresno State product and California native’s laid back approach, calling people “bra’” (some people not in-the-know just object to being called women’s undergarments) and brushing cares off.
Can he really be affording to brush things off? He’s terrible. He’s gotten sacke d amillion times. No psyche.

By DoNoUhOh

David Carr is pretty terrible. It used to be that we thought it was because he got sacked 76 times his rookie season. Maybe that is still the problem. Getting hit that many times changes a man. But even with good protection he is terrible. Matt Schaub showed exactly how bad Carr is by turning the Texans into playoff contenders. Of course Schaub ended up hurt and Rosenfels got roughed up too so maybe it is the pass protection that is the problem. Maybe Schaub will never be what he was this year. Maybe he is the new David Carr.