Queen James

I want to get the benefit of every close call. I want to take as many steps as I want when driving to the hoop. I want to snarl and pound my chest when I get yet another bogus continuation call. I want to grimace every time I'm touched. I want everyone to talk about how great my numbers are despite how bad my teammates are. I want everyone to talk about how much better I make my teammates after talking about how bad my teammates are. I want to be Queen James...not that there's anything wrong with that.

2 minutes on Queen James
by TheNobleSavage
Maybe its his horrific underbite. Or the constant nailbiting. Or maybe its his strange little ogre ears. I cannot stand Queen James. His oh so holier than thou face he puts on when he knows he just got a call because he's the "Annointed One" or when he's gotten away with a horribe travel. No Queen James, I AM NOT A Witness.

2 minutes on Queen James
By HighTimeForCrime
Lebron is never as good as 1) he should be and 2) he thinks he is. He is no doubt a freak of nature, but every time he drives to the hoop and slams it in or sinks a three from the outside, you say “yeah, but that’s what’s supposed to happen.”
He’s too wrapped up in being a global icon to be the best ever. He’s trying to make his name synonymous with a globally recognized brand. But he’ll never be as good as Jordan because he’s not concentrating on basketball as much as he should.

2 minutes on Queen James
By DoNoUhOh

I know he’s beating us but I’m honestly not that impressed with him. I can’t really explain it. I see him getting the big numbers. And he was certainly draining shots at will in game 2. But it doesn’t feel right. I don’t like the way he always has to check his mouth to see if its bleeding. Over and over again checking. You only get three quick looks. No blood? Put your hand down. And I didn’t like how mad he got, like he was legitimately angry to near tears when Haywood fouled him. That was not a flagrant two by the way. Queen he is.

How The Wizards Will Make The 2008 NBA Finals

Last night I had a dream that whatever I decreed today would happen. Unfortunately I stayed up really late and slept really late and was kinda busy so I never got to make my decree. Damn ye gods. As a plea to whatever sports god that is out there who decides this sort of thing I present the decree that should have and could have been were it not for my irresponsible sleeping habits (in two minutes):

2 minutes on How the Wizards will make the 2008 NBA Finals
by HighTimeForCrime
First off, we’re 2 games behind the Cavs for the 4th seed, and home court advantage in the first round. Like I’ve said, you gotta go get that. I say the Phone Booth turns into a madhouse if we get full court advantage over the Cavs, facing them for a 3rd straight year.
So we’ll take them, right. Lebron still gets 40 in a few games, they win a couple but we ultimately take the series.
Then it’s our boys the Celtics. And they know we got their number.
I say we face the Pistons or 76ers (don’t count them out, no one knows what the fuck they’re doin) in the Eastern Finals, but you can’t bet against the Wiz in the East.

2 minutes on How the Wizards Will Make the 2008 NBA Finals
By DoNoUhOh

The last time we were this healthy we were the best team in basketball. That was over a year ago. Now we’re healthy again with a new and improved bench, thank you injury curse, and a new and improved crazy amazing sixth man, thank you gilbert arenas for truly being about the winning. You know who is having back problems and has a crappy team anyway? Queen James, our first round opponent. You know who we match up with perfectly and beat three times this season? The Celtics, the best team in the East. So we face the Pistons maybe? I’m sorry but they are not what they once were way back in the day when they actually won something and didn’t just swagger like the

2007-08 NBA MVP Race

This has been a good season in the NBA. Ignoring the Leastern Conference, where our beloved Washington Bullets fight the good fight, the Wild West has been the best its ever been. I feel like I could go Stephen A. Smith over this except that I hate Stephen A. Smith and would never ever emulate him in any way if it could at all be helped. Stephen A. Smith is not our 2007-2008 NBA MVP. 2 minutes on who is:

2 minutes on 2007-2008 NBA MVP race
by HighTimeForCrime

My top 3, in order: Garnett, Paul, Kobe.
Garnett changed the entire culture of the Celtics. He restored glory to the NBA’s most revered franchise. He’s tough, he’s intense, he’s a team player, he just wants to win. Plus he’s scary as shit, no one’s gonna fuck with him or do him wrong. He’s this millennium’s Bill Russell, a coach on the court.
Paul gets my second place vote because this team would be nothing without him, as was proven when he went down last year. Yes, they’ve got great weapons (West, Chandler, Peja), but he’s the guy that makes it all happen.

2 minutes on 2007-08 NBA MVP Race
By DoNoUhOh

Everyone has narrowed down the race to Kobe Bryant versus Queen James with a little bit of Chris Paul on the side. Kobe is considered the best all around player on a top level team. Queen James has the most talent and is carrying a mediocre team, similar to Kobe the last few years when he hasn’t won. Then there’s Chris Paul. His team needs him the most. His team has a great shot at winning the West. Plus I hate the selfish Kobe who is finally happy now that his team made one of the most lopsided trades in NBA history. Turns out Kobe was wrong the whole time and the Lakers were getting him help after all. Bitch. I’d say Chris Paul gets my vote but Stephen Jackson is my true MVP hero, crazy motherfucker that he is.